I am midnight drunk by noon
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
