I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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