this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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