i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
