I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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