i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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