Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
