He disabled his match.com account in front of me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
