i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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