why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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