Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
