U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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