Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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