I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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