Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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