the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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