We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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