we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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