I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
