Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I CAN MOONWALK!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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