i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
