I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
