If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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