If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
