Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
