Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
