Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
