Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
be right there i have to get my cape
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
