so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What drink are we having for lunch?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
