Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize