your room smells of hookers.
And success
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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