Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
