I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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