Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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