Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't deserve a penis
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
