i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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