escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
