You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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