yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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