bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
