i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize