That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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