It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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