three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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