I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
