I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
