I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
