Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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