Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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