we're chasing vodka with high fives
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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