i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
