Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
