Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
