When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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