I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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