Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
