He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
