Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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