Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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