I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
