see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize