return my video game
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
